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Plant A Tree? January 14, 2011

Posted by Toy Lady in Garden, Home, Information, just general griping, random stuff.
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Shortly after I got home from work, Peeps asked me if I’d seen the “interesting” mail.

His word.  Interesting.

Um, Verizon Wireless propaganda – Smartphones Talk Free!

Yeah, whatever.  Recycle.

Seed catalog.

Ooooh, pretty flowers.  Recycle.

Something from the New York Times.

Fish wrapper.  Recycle.

And a 2011 New York Tree Survey from . . . the Arbor Day Foundation?

A TREE SURVEY?

What is there to survey about trees?

Well, it turns out, quite a bit. Plus, the Arbor Day Foundation has included several Free Gift Vouchers for me for when I send in my questionnaire.  Oh yes.  Gifts.  Free ones.

First, though, they wanted to know a bit about me.  They already have my name and my address, so as long as they’re not looking for my bank account numbers, I’m okay with that, I guess.

  1. What is your age?  Can I say “none of your beeswax?”  No?  Okay, 31-49 then.
  2. What is your marital status?  Happily?  All right.  Married.
  3. Do you work outside the house?  Sigh.
  4. What level education did you complete.  Would you stop asking dumb questions if I just check “elementary school?”
  5. Do you have children living at home?  You mean besides Boo Boo Kitty and Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy fur face?

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And now – NOW – they want to know what I think about trees.  Beyond, I guess, “approve of them.”

  1. Have you ever built a tree house? Oh, I wish.
  2. Have you ever climbed a tree?  If by “climb” you mean “got both feet off the ground and your butt on a tree limb” then yes.
  3. Have you ever played on a tree swing?  Um, has anyone ever not?
  4. Do you ever relax on the shade of a tree?  Really?
  5. Do you think the Sugar Maple is an appropriate choice as the state tree of New York?  Um . . . sure.
  6. Do you think in general, residents of New York care more or less about trees than people in the rest of the country.  Wait, what?
  7. Which one of the following would say is the single most important function of trees?  Providing shade, Providing oxygen, Being a source of beauty, Absorbing carbon dioxide, Filtering water, Saving energy by cooling our homes and neighborhoods, Providing habitats for birds and animals.  Are you serious?
  8. Can you identify the trees near your home?Well, there’s the maple in the front yard, and the blue spruce we planted a couple of years ago.
  9. Have you ever planted a tree.See above.  Ha.
  10. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most important, how important do you think it is to replace trees destroyed by fire?  Well. . . sometimes trees reseed themselves, don’t they?
  11. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most important, how important do you think it is to save the Earth’s rain forests?   How did we get from forest fires to rain forests?
  12. Would you be willing to spare a few dollars to help the Arbor Day Foundation plant more trees? (see below)

And THERE it is.

It’s like PBS – only it’s TREE BS! If I make a donation of $10 or more, I can get 10 Free Trees.  Or (and?) 2 FREE Fragrant Lilacs if I send in my questionnaire (and donation) within 10 days, a free year of coffee (twelve 10-oz. bags (that is SO NOT a year’s supply) of delicious rain-forest saving coffee) PLUS two FREE bonus gifts – The Tree Book and a free subscription to  Arbor Day magazine.

Those last two -I have no idea.

Oh but wait!  There is a check box for

I do not want to support the Arbor Day Foundation at this time, but let me know if I’ve won the coffee.

So here’s the thing.  I like trees – and John Denver – as much as the next guy.  Plus, I’ve been thinking of planting some lilacs in the yard anyway.

But I’ve donated to PBS, and I know how, once they get your name, they Never Stop Calling.  Do I need that?  Does anyone?

So I’m asking you, Internet.  What do you think?

 

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Comments

1. anne - January 14, 2011

Wow, I’m not sure I could answer those questions. Sure, I like trees. I live in the woods, for Pete’s sake. The most important function of a tree? Never gave it much thought. Mostly, I think, to catch the squirrels when they launch themselves into thin air.

I’m afraid I’d have to pass on the free gifts. (Aren’t all gifts free, by definition?) Otherwise they’ll kill any number of trees, trying to get your money. We can’t have that, now can we?

2. robin - January 20, 2011

I just did a search to find out what the internet would tell me whether it is important to ‘replace trees destroyed by fires’ and came across your site. You know why I was asking – cuz I got the same survey and it made me curious! But I am in the same quandry as you and now all of a sudden I have that feeling I always get at these times: chuck it and get on with life – I’m wasting too much time on this stupid thing. I even want to plant a couple trees but don’t want to get inundated by the Arborists (could be a good band name).

Yeah, that’s about it, isn’t it? I mean, as a rule, I do make it habit NOT to send money to unsolicited requests. . . but dude! It’s trees! But I think you’re right – get on with our lives and quit worrying about it. ;)


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