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On Tin-Foil Hats & the Pre-Dawn Hours May 6, 2009

Posted by Toy Lady in Home, mirth & woe, random stuff.

I think Hamlet summed it up best, don’t you?

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Who actually knows what’s out there, you know?

It could really be like the Star Trek universe – various planets and galaxies, worlds to be explored . . . wouldn’t that just be cool?  😀

By the way, have I ever mentioned that I have a StarFleet Academy sticker in the back window of my car?  😆


Don’t worry. I know that the Star Trek franchise is nothing more than a work of fiction.  A fantasy world that’s been around for, essentially, my entire life, yes, but still a fantasy world.

But it’s still pretty cool, isn’t it?  The final frontier.  The idea that there’s something – or someone – beyond our universe, worlds upon worlds to be explored . . .

But what if it’s not like that out there?  What if it’s more like the world F. Paul Wilson’s Repairman Jack lives in?   A world of mystery and monsters and conspiracy theories?

Yikes.  😯

So anyway.

A couple of years ago, there was an  incident.  😯

Yes, it was an incident.  It was long before the Big Lug was even born, and certainly before he came to live with us.  Back when Stupor Kitty was still part of the family, though even then, she had a pretty lousy attitude.

We’d gone upstairs for the night, and Peeps needed to go downstairs for something.  Little did he know that the cat was lurking on the stairs – right about where he was going to step.  Unfortunately, he, well, he ended up taking the quick way down the stairs – on his butt.  Or something.  😯

The cat went into hiding, and Peeps hobbled back upstairs, determined that “he’d be fine.”

Yeah, not so much.

At one point during the night, he finally admitted that no, he wasn’t fine, and so we hobbled off to the emergency room.  He hobbled, I drove, actually.  😉

Here’s an interesting bit of knowledge to file away – suburban emergency rooms are pretty much ghost towns in the middle of a weekday night. It’s just something that’s good to know, that’s all.  😉

So anyway, we spent, altogether, about an hour getting him checked out, X-rayed, checked again and bandaged.  And they issued him a pair of crutches.  Then they sent us, with Peeps’s sprained ankle, on our merry way.

Just in time to catch what we’ve since come to know as The Tin-Foil-Hat Show on the car radio.  😯

OK, first of all, I mean no offense to anyone who actually listens to this show – it’s certainly very interesting.

And, as I said earlier, who knows what’s actually out there?

But what we heard, in the middle of the night, while driving back down Ridge Road, was, well, to call it a little, uh, NUTS is being kind.  😯

There was a guy – I guess he was a guest.  He was talking about how most of the “powerful people” in the world were actually, um, serpent people.  That would be aliens who were able to change their appearance to LOOK like the people they were impersonating.

But wait a minute, you might say.  Wouldn’t we be able to conduct tests be sure, say, the Queen of England was, in fact, human?  Yes, the Queen of England is, evidently, an alien.

Au contraire mon ami. These aliens are wily – they  can change their DNA in order to mimic that of a human.  Yeppers.

Aliens.  They do alien things.  They’re alien-esque.  😯

So OK.  We got our giggle out of that – it was almost worth a middle-of-the-night trip to the Emergency Room.  For me, anyway.  I can’t actually answer for Peeps.  🙄

Then it’s a couple of years later, and we’re running a business.  We’ve bought some radio advertising, and our time slot is 5-6 AM on the same station.

Now, we of course wanted to be sure to listen and hear our ads, so we made sure to set the alarm to “radio” rather than “alarm” and to set it for 5AM.

The Tin-Foil-Hat Show is on from 2-5 AM.

Here’s the thing.  When I set the radio to go off at 5, what we woke to was ridiculously loud, obnoxious ads (not, of course, our own, which were quiet and tasteful.  Some other ads for something certainly loud and obnoxious.).

I can’t take waking up to that.

So we set the alarm for 4:55.

And we got the Tin-Foil-Hat-Show bumper music which is, at that hour, a little creepy.

And now that we no longer care about the advertising between 5 and 6 AM (or really, any time, for that matter), here is what we have figured out.

  • The dog can’t be relied upon to wake us up on time for work.
  • The radio is much . . . gentler to wake up to than the alarm.
  • The “top of the hour” commercials are still loud and obnoxious.  (Chat line?  Really?)
  • The Tin-Foil-Hat-Show bumper music is still kind of creepy.

So I set the radio-alarm to go off at about quarter to five.  It’s not a big deal, really – all things being equal, I’d rather wake up a few minutes early than a few minutes late, know what I mean?


The Tin-Foil-Hat Show.  I lie in bed every morning for about 10 minutes and listen to the call-in crazies come out of the woodwork.

The stories about how the crows (yes, the birds) were watching them and talking to each other about them.

The Viet Nam vet who came home from battle all angry and mean – until he saw an exorcist and then it was all good.

The guy whose wife wouldn’t let him tell any of their friends about how, while he was in the hospital undergoing “treatment,”  he was visited by “rock-faced aliens” who were curious about our political system.

And then, of course, the United States has starships that they’re not telling us about.

Hey.  😯

Maybe it really is like the Star Trek universe after all!  😆



1. Mazco - May 6, 2009

Ah the famous ” I finally got to use my medical plan” Incident. I only giggled a little.

Sorry, it was funny.

Toy Lady - May 7, 2009

Maz, that was actually the SECOND time Peeps availed himself of the medical coverage – we both actually left work early for a kidney stone (his) a few years back. Now THAT was unfortunate. 😥

2. anne - May 6, 2009

Is that 5:00 in the MORNING? Like, when it’s still DARK outside?? You must be much farther north than me, we don’t have that time zone in NC. 🙂

How long did it take Stupor Kitty to recover from that incident? Or did you have to bodily remove her from the ceiling?

Toy Lady - May 7, 2009

It’s only mostly dark at that hour now, Anne. 😉

Usually, by the time we get back from our morning walk, the sun is making an appearance. But yeah, I think our nights are usually slightly longer this far north. (ahem) 🙄

And as for the kitty, she actually was fine – I think she’d been watching Twilight Zone – remember the episode with Talking Tina? The doll who didn’t like Telly Savalas. . . 😯

3. origamifreak - May 7, 2009

Wow, I was really hoping that the name of the show really was “the tin-foil-hat-show.” All the same, it looks very entertaining. I might have to indulge in a few podcasts…

Years ago I used to sometimes buy The Weekly World News at the checkout counter, just to read the creative writing in there. Wacko stuff makes me giggle.

Toy Lady - May 7, 2009

Why do you think I still use the radio to wake up? It’s kind of a good thing to start the day with a chuckle.

This morning – the government conspiracy that is the 2010 census. Yup. They’re tracking us, you know. 😯

Though I think I might want to be careful – it’s way to easy to get sucked into some of that stuff. It just seems so plausible, you know.

4. origamifreak - May 7, 2009

P.S. It looks like they’re still going: http://weeklyworldnews.com

P.P.S. Looking forward to seeing the Star Trek movie this weekend. Even if I AM a Romulan… 😉

Toy Lady - May 7, 2009

I don’t know if we’re going to see Trek this weekend or not – but probably. We hadn’t been “out” to see a movie in months, and here we are, two weekends in a row – first Wolverine (I liked it just fine) and now Trek. Am I wearing my geek hat yet? 😆

5. Monday Musings – 05.11.2009 « Dark Side of the Fridge - May 11, 2009

[…] I was waking up Saturday morning, I noticed that the Tin-Foil-Hat Show was actually playing a different song. . […]

6. Aldyth - May 13, 2009

There is a retired criminal court judge in my town who believes that stuff about reptilians. He was pretty sure the entire Bush family were reptilians and that the Queen had Princess Diana bumped off because she was going to reveal that the Windsors are reptilians.

What’s really scary is that this guy held people’s lives in his hands. Even though he is a really nice person.

Weird world.

Toy Lady - May 13, 2009

That is kind of scary, isn’t it? 😯

I mean, you sort of just assume it’s the crazies in trailers in Iowa who buy into the whole crop circle thing. . . but when you see reasonably intelligent people who, presumably, have logical reasons for believing. . . kind of makes you think, doesn’t it?

7. Monday Musings – 06.29.2009 Edition « Dark Side of the Fridge - June 29, 2009

[…] woke up the other morning to the Tin Foil Hat Show on the radio – actually, every morning  I wake up to it.  But this particular morning was […]

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