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Thing #30 – I’ll Have Oatmeal August 12, 2009

Posted by Toy Lady in 101 Things.

So here we are – another month, another Thing!

So first, a little background.  I used to have lovely, straight teeth.  A few years back, I noticed that maybe one of my front teeth seemed a little . . . crooked.  Sort of.  And maybe sticking out a little.  Or maybe that was my imagination.  Whatever. . .

PhotobucketThen one day, I went to the dentist’s office for a routine cleaning, and the hygienist mentioned that she was detecting a little “motion” there.  In my front tooth.  Nothing to be too concerned about, at least not yet, but . . . yeah, I’m going to want to start thinking about it.

Oh, I thought about it, all right.  I thought about how very attractive and sexy it would be to be, say, in a nice restaurant, biting into a lovely steak, and losing my front tooth.

Great.  Just put me in a pair of bib overalls and a flannel shirt, and start the banjo music.

Or maybe that’s not the way it would happen.  Maybe it would just get looser and looser, and it would fall out while I was sleeping and I’d choke to death on my own tooth.

The fact is that I also used to smoke.  In fact, I smoked for 26 years.  And, not surprisingly, I’ve also had some periodontal problems – regular infections, receding gums, and an increased need for cleanings.    And smoking does cause bone damage – there’s no reason to think my teeth or jaws would have been exempt from such damage, is there?


Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that smoking caused my tooth to get all weird.  But I’m not NOT saying it, either.  And certainly it didn’t help.  (Did smoking ever actually HELP anything?)

Anyway, ultimately, my only option is to pull the tooth before it falls out.


No worries there, right?  After all, there’s very little more attractive than a thirty-thirteen woman with missing teeth, is there?  Oh, but not to worry.  They’ll fit me for a “partial.”

Better and better.  Toothless AND false teeth.  Kinda makes a girl feel young and sexy, doesn’t it?

However, it’s the nature of these sort of things that they don’t really get better – they get worse.  It eventually got to the point where something needed to be done, so last spring, I scheduled The Procedure.  Then, because of work demands (100% TRUTH) I had to reschedule.


And as it turned out, I was visiting the dentist in the morning and the vet in the afternoon.  And fun was had by all.  I ended up having two teeth pulled – my front tooth and a molar that’s been giving me trouble.

Now I look like a hockey player, only not as buff.

ARE hockey players buff?

All this was the day before our wedding anniversary and the accompanying dinner, which is why I had salmon instead of meat.  Not that the salmon was BAD – I just wouldn’t have ordered it if I could chew, that’s all.

Regardless, the old teeth are out, and the new teeth are in.  The dentist actually had a ring of paint chips to match the exact color.

I’m learning to get used to the idea that I’m now wearing false teeth.


I know.  The proper term is “a plate” but let’s be honest.  It’s two fake teeth that I stick in my mouth.

Can you say “old lady”?

On the bright side, I can smile again without feeling like a total yokel.

Then, last week, I received a “statement” from the dentist.  It reflected what I’d paid, plus a balance.

A balance?

So I called them.  I thought I’d paid in full.  Oh, well, they said, there’s a note in the file:

Patient was given senior discount.  Patient is not a senior citizen.

Dandy.  Thanks.



1. origamifreak - August 12, 2009

nice smile. can’t even tell which ONE is ersatz!


Toy Lady - August 12, 2009

After he was done (and my lips were still numb from (shudder) TWO shots of novocaine in the roof of my mouth), the dentist handed me a mirror . . . and he was rather amused that my reaction was “hey, it looks real!” 😆

2. origamifreak - August 12, 2009

Or maybe I should have used this one: :mrgreen:

Toy Lady - August 12, 2009

Nice. . . pick on the old toothless lady. 😛

origamifreak - August 12, 2009

Wasn’t picking! Honest!

It just seemed like a face with TEETH showing in the grin would be apropos…

Toy Lady - August 12, 2009


3. Mazco34 - August 12, 2009

So for your next Hobo Night, plan a meal which only uses your remaining teeth.

That would be closer to Hobo Night….

BTW – They look real purty.

Toy Lady - August 12, 2009

Oatmeal? Scrambled eggs? Cornmeal mush?

Squirrel jerky?

And. . . thanks.

origamifreak - August 12, 2009

Mango smoothies. LOL

Toy Lady - August 12, 2009

I’m good with that. Though lately, my smoothie of choice has been pineapple and peach. Or peach and blueberry. Or pineapple peanut butter . . . I actually haven’t had mango in a while.

4. sjbraun - August 12, 2009

Oy. Insult upon insult – is that what aging is (don’t answer that)?
Recently the hygienist told me I had “the beginnings of gingivitis.” LOVELY.

Mazco34 - August 12, 2009

At least you don’t take Dilantin. One of the side effect is gingival hyperplasia. Every few years I have to go and get my gums “scraped”.

Fun times, becauses they bleed like hell, and rinsing is such a joy under novacaine.

Toy Lady - August 12, 2009

Dude! That’s just sad!

And by “rinsing under novacaine” don’t you mean, “opening your mouth and letting the drool roll out”?

origamifreak - August 12, 2009

Oh, now, THAT’s a lovely image…


Toy Lady - August 12, 2009

I know, isn’t that nice?

So attractive . . .

Toy Lady - August 12, 2009

SJ, yikes! If it’s just in the beginning stages, though, it can probably be “managed” can’t I? Lots of listerine and stuff? I have no idea – I’m just assuming my issue was because I so irresponsibly smoked and ruined my health . . . that, and it’s probably hereditary.

5. Mazco34 - August 12, 2009

My destist prescibes Peridex. Tastes awful and you can’t eat or drink for one hour after.

I would cut mine with Scope just to make it bearable

Toy Lady - August 12, 2009

Blech, Maz – my periodontist prescribed that when I had my gum surgery a few years back! Just . . . blech. I think I still have half a bottle of it somewhere. I’m not very good at “finish the entire prescription” even if you feel better and it tastes nasty.

6. anne - August 12, 2009

I am so laughing here, only because of a recent visit with my Dad. Now, Dad is 83 years old. He has a full head of curly silver hair. The day I stopped by, he happened to be cleaning the storage closet in the garage, so he was dressed in droopy shorts, an undershirt and tattered shoes. Wait .. it gets better. Somehow recently he had one of his two front teeth fall out. Root canal gone bad or something. So the picture: silver hair going every which direction, undershirt, droopy shorts, tattered shoes .. and a missing front tooth. The only things missing were a jug of moonshine and a hound dog! 😆

Toy Lady - August 12, 2009

I’ve got the hound dog, Anne! Who’s up for the washboard? 😆

origamifreak - August 13, 2009

My dad (who made it to 95) had a habit of wearing while gardening old twill slacks with “ventilation” in the crotch (i.e. seams that had come out and not been bothered to be stitched back up again). Thank goodness he also wore boxers!

(he had no teeth at all, being of the generation where they just yanked ’em all out when you hit 30 and replaced with dentures)

He was Something Else. LOL.

Toy Lady - August 14, 2009

Heh – what a picture!

7. judy - August 13, 2009

Well, this has turned into the longest thread I have seen since I succumbed to this blog. (How did you like that big word? I impressed myself).

I am pushing 70 REALLY HARD and smoked for 47 years ( KNOW, I KNOW, I AM AMONG THE WALKING DEAD) and have worn a 2 two tooth lower bridge for years (made with my own teeth (that is another expensive story for another feel sorry for ME day) and about a month ago another of my lower teeth just fell over and fell out. I have lost some on top too. I rarely go out and I do I don[t smile. I can kind of hide the new hoie with the bridge but must seriously look for solution to this SOOONNN.

So depressing. I really want to just curl up and blow away. Getting old and falling apart is NOT funny.


Toy Lady - August 14, 2009

Aw, Jude. . . you’re not THAT old. 😉

I’ve been feeling so self-conscious about my teeth, too – it’s awful not to be able to smile.

You could start working on the Mona Lisa look – I read somewhere that her “mysterious smile” may have been because she didn’t have any teeth, or they were all rotten, or something. 😕

If you ever find yourself in this area, Jude, I’ll be happy to share a nice bowl of oatmeal with you. Maybe some Jell-o, too. 😀

8. Monday Musings: 08.17.2009 « Dark Side of the Fridge - August 17, 2009

[…] also got some corn on the cob at the market – I can’t remember the last time I actually ate corn on the actual cob. . .  .   I was going to pass it by again this week, but the […]

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