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The Big Game February 4, 2010

Posted by Toy Lady in mirth & woe, random stuff.

You know, I’m not so good at sports.

I’m obviously not the athletic type, that’s for sure.  But even aside from that, I just don’t get sports.  I don’t understand the point.

I mean, sure, I understand The Games – the pursuit of the Manly Arts of War, striving for Excellence with the spirit of Friendly Competition  – I get that.

The pole vault – how else would ancient – or medieval – warriors storm the castle?

(Well, at least the ones who didn’t have the benefit of André the Giant, anyway.)

The shot put – what better way to say “die, foe” than to fling rocks at them? Unless, of course, it’s the Archery, or even Pistol event – THAT will certainly make a lasting impression on the other side, won’t it?

I even understand how Track and Field events are training for “running like heck” or how ice skating and skiing would be of great  benefit in some cultures, namely my Scandinavian ancestors.

But this.

This . . . this. . . ridiculousness that seizes the entire country for, what, 2 weeks?   Sports junkies giddy with anticipation.

Food blogs full of dips and spreads and wings and “indulgent” treats, and all for what?

The Big Game?

It’s so momentous, we’re not even supposed to utter its name. . . it’s like . . . the game-that-must-not-be-named.

But really, what’s the point of this World Series of Football?  Of all of it, actually.

Is there EVER any time of the year where there’s not some SPORT going on?

And not just any sport.

Well, actually, yeah, pretty much any sport.  Because really, aren’t they pretty much all the same?

Sure, they all have different uniforms, and some of them use sticks and such, and the shape of the ball (or whatever) differs among the genres, but the point – OUR team is trying to get THE THING from the middle of the playing area into THEIR goal.

Sure, there are exceptions.

BaseballGolfBowlingCricket.   Curling.

There are always exceptions.

I know what you’re thinking.  In fact, I’m reasonably sure at least someone out there is shouting it out loud:

“It’s not the SAME!  You don’t UNDERSTAND!”

And you’d be right.  I don’t understand.

I don’t understand how hundreds of millions of people DON’T SEE IT.

Look at the hockey game we just went to.  You’ve got your PUCK.  You’ve got your GOALS.  You’ve got your two teams with inches of padding and big ole’ sticks trying to whack the puck into the other team’s goal.  That’s pretty original, huh?

How is that different than, say, basketball?

“Oh, no,” you’d say, “it’s COMPLETELY not the same!”

And you’d be absolutely correct.  It’s quite different.

In basketball you’ve got a ball, not a puck.  And you’ve got baskets, not goals.  They’re wearing shorts.  And no sticks.  Oh, and there are only three periods in hockey.  Basketball has FOUR quarters.   Totally not the same thing.  At all.

Plus, of course, only basketball has that bracket thingy with the Sweet Sixteen and the Fabulous Four. . .  (I think.)  (March Madness – kinda sounds like a cut-rate used car dealer or a furniture store there, doesn’t it?  “Hurry in, folks, for March Madness – Crazy Mike is Cuh-Razy this month!”)

Which brings us back to this weekend’s Game-That-Must-Remain-Nameless.

Seriously, guys.  You dress the players up in different outfits, and you hand them funny-shaped balls (shut UP) and seriously think it’s a different game?  Sure, they make up extra special rules and name them after players.  (Really?  No taunting?  Did some big strong football player get his little feelings hurt?)

So I guess my point here is, hey, what’s all the fuss?  They’re going to spend a couple of hours chasing after a ball and, honestly, looking mighty silly while they’re doing it.  Is this how we want to spend our Sunday afternoon?

Me, I might watch The Notebook.  Or, more likely, I’ll go to bed early with a book.



1. origamifreak - February 4, 2010

I think it’s just another cultural wintertime excuse to get together with people and/or eat unhealthy things. One in the long string of “holidays” that contribute to winter weight gain:

New Year’s Eve
Super Bowl
Valentine’s Day

So far I’ve made it through New Year’s, and have no Stupid Bowl plans so I just have to get through VD and Easter and then I think I’ll be able to say I survived Winter Eating Season with my BMI and my sanity intact. LOL

It must be something about fall and winter – people just seem to want to eat, I guess. And cook. That’s my problem – during this time of the year, I love nothing better than to be in the kitchen cooking and baking, but then someone’s got to eat everything!

You’re doing great, OF, with the weight loss! Congratulations!

2. Mazco34 - February 4, 2010

There’s an old e-mail I have – “Men’s Rules in Response to Women.” Ones of the rules is:
Sundays = Sports It’s like the full moon. Let it be.

And I totally respect your decision to watch “The Notebook.” Maybe you can double it up with “Steel Magnolias.”

But promise me that you’ll let Peeps watch the game.

Maz, you know I don’t care if he wants to watch that stuff. Usually he doesn’t, but I don’t mind.

And honestly? I have a hard enough time sitting though one chick flick – I don’t think I could do two in a row – if I sit still too long, I fall asleep. We’d hate for my snoring to interrupt the World Series thing, wouldn’t we?

3. anne - February 4, 2010

Right there with you, Sistah. Who really cares, anyway? Fortunately, my DH is oblivious to all sports, so they could all be canceled and it wouldn’t make any difference in our house.

Ohhh, The Notebook. I haven’t seen it, but I read the book. I’d have to watch it alone, I’d cry. From approximately the title until the credits, I’d cry. Love Nicholas Sparks (he’s from around here, you know. Well, not originally, but he is now.)

Peeps doesn’t watch sports much, either, though he does, apparently, understand all that esoteric stuff. 😕

And I DVR’ed The Notebook a while ago and haven’t had a chance to watch it. . . I find I have to be in just the right mood for Nicholas Sparks (books, anyway) – I get all leaky and stuff too.

4. Melinda - February 5, 2010

i have 3 boys that will be watching, but not sure from where one of my very closest friends was a NO saints cheerleader ( the bit** still fits in her uniform) and we are colts fans we usually spend the day at her house but she said we could not cheer for the colts ( like i care) so not sure what we will do i go just to see friends from my life before kids and spouse( yea these are OLD friends)

I understand completely, Melinda! I want to a party – once – not to watch the game, but to hang out with the rest of the people who were there to hang out and not watch the game. . . the die-hard sports guys all ended up together in a corner of the living room together watching while everyone else just sort of talked around them!

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