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It probably is just me May 14, 2010

Posted by Peeps in random stuff.
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I’m very quick to judge.  I’m not saying it’s either a good thing or a bad thing, I’m just saying that’s how I am.  All too often, I turn out to be right. But I try not to be smug about it.  That’s never good.

I’m also sarcastic.  A lot.  It’s not always a pretty combination, but it can be amusing.  At least to me.

The other night, it was getting to be time to go to sleep.  One of the things that needs to be done before going to bed is taking the dog out for a bit.  I don’t mind, and it’s way better than having him wake us up in the middle of the night.

So, I leashed the dog and opened the front door.  And out he bounded, barking.  Struggling to keep my balance, I figured that he’d seen a squirrel or maybe a cat.  Or even someone walking their dog past the house.  He’s very protective of his house, after all.

I saw some people on the other side of the street.  And as I caught sight of them, the judgment thing kicked on.  As it turns out, he was barking at a group of muffins across the street.  Muffins?  That’s my word for them.  Although, it does seem to be catching on.  You’ve probably seen them around.  Decorative females in the 17 to 27 year old range.  Somewhat vacant expressions.  All too often showing too much skin.  Frequently to be seen chewing gum.  Visible navel piercings.  Tattoos.  You know, muffins.  I haven’t yet come up with the collective noun for a group of them.  Most of the good ones have already been taken.

Anyway, there were half a dozen muffins across the street and the dog apparently startled them.  Which I suppose I can see.  He’s a bit large and was being quite loud.  But I honestly didn’t give them a thought.  I was busy trying to keep the dog under control.  Until one of the muffins said something to me.  One of them called out “Are you trying to scare us?”

I will admit that stopped me for about half a second.  I recall thinking why is this idiot bothering me when I’m trying to hold on to a large, frisky dog.   I also recall at least a dozen seriously snarky comments that I was very tempted to use.

Half a second can be a long time, if you know how to use it properly.  In the end, I told the muffin the exact truth, just like my mother taught me to do.  I told her that I was trying to pee the dog so that I could go to bed.  And took him around to the back yard so the muffins wouldn’t keep him acting like an idiot.

When we got back to the front of the house, there were no more muffins anywhere in sight.  And in the end, while I kept the sarcastic part under control, the judgmental part just kept on going, no matter what I do.  Oh well.  At least mom would be proud I told the truth.

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Comments

1. mazco34 - May 14, 2010

Damn, now you’re going to need your injection of sarcasm from elsewhere.

But I know you’ll always get your RDA of sarcasm.

BTW -“Muffins” – I like it. A lot.

2. Peeps - May 14, 2010

I manage to get in a lot of my sarcasm at my boss’s expense. He’s good like that. And thanks.


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