Plant A Tree? January 14, 2011Posted by Toy Lady in Garden, Home, Information, just general griping, random stuff.
Tags: now that song is stuck in my head, random stuff
Shortly after I got home from work, Peeps asked me if I’d seen the “interesting” mail.
His word. Interesting.
Um, Verizon Wireless propaganda – Smartphones Talk Free!
Yeah, whatever. Recycle.
Ooooh, pretty flowers. Recycle.
Something from the New York Times.
Fish wrapper. Recycle.
And a 2011 New York Tree Survey from . . . the Arbor Day Foundation?
A TREE SURVEY?
What is there to survey about trees?
Well, it turns out, quite a bit. Plus, the Arbor Day Foundation has included several Free Gift Vouchers for me for when I send in my questionnaire. Oh yes. Gifts. Free ones.
First, though, they wanted to know a bit about me. They already have my name and my address, so as long as they’re not looking for my bank account numbers, I’m okay with that, I guess.
- What is your age? Can I say “none of your beeswax?” No? Okay, 31-49 then.
- What is your marital status? Happily? All right. Married.
- Do you work outside the house? Sigh.
- What level education did you complete. Would you stop asking dumb questions if I just check “elementary school?”
- Do you have children living at home? You mean besides Boo Boo Kitty and Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy fur face?
And now – NOW – they want to know what I think about trees. Beyond, I guess, “approve of them.”
- Have you ever built a tree house? Oh, I wish.
- Have you ever climbed a tree? If by “climb” you mean “got both feet off the ground and your butt on a tree limb” then yes.
- Have you ever played on a tree swing? Um, has anyone ever not?
- Do you ever relax on the shade of a tree? Really?
- Do you think the Sugar Maple is an appropriate choice as the state tree of New York? Um . . . sure.
- Do you think in general, residents of New York care more or less about trees than people in the rest of the country. Wait, what?
- Which one of the following would say is the single most important function of trees? Providing shade, Providing oxygen, Being a source of beauty, Absorbing carbon dioxide, Filtering water, Saving energy by cooling our homes and neighborhoods, Providing habitats for birds and animals. Are you serious?
- Can you identify the trees near your home?Well, there’s the maple in the front yard, and the blue spruce we planted a couple of years ago.
- Have you ever planted a tree.See above. Ha.
- On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most important, how important do you think it is to replace trees destroyed by fire? Well. . . sometimes trees reseed themselves, don’t they?
- On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most important, how important do you think it is to save the Earth’s rain forests? How did we get from forest fires to rain forests?
- Would you be willing to spare a few dollars to help the Arbor Day Foundation plant more trees? (see below)
And THERE it is.
It’s like PBS – only it’s TREE BS! If I make a donation of $10 or more, I can get 10 Free Trees. Or (and?) 2 FREE Fragrant Lilacs if I send in my questionnaire (and donation) within 10 days, a free year of coffee (twelve 10-oz. bags (that is SO NOT a year’s supply) of delicious rain-forest saving coffee) PLUS two FREE bonus gifts – The Tree Book and a free subscription to Arbor Day magazine.
Those last two -I have no idea.
Oh but wait! There is a check box for
I do not want to support the Arbor Day Foundation at this time, but let me know if I’ve won the coffee.
So here’s the thing. I like trees – and John Denver – as much as the next guy. Plus, I’ve been thinking of planting some lilacs in the yard anyway.
But I’ve donated to PBS, and I know how, once they get your name, they Never Stop Calling. Do I need that? Does anyone?
So I’m asking you, Internet. What do you think?