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A Product of Silence January 19, 2011

Posted by Toy Lady in Living Out Loud, random stuff, writing.


This post is in response to Wait in the Van’s occasional writing exercise A Product of Silence.

This month’s prompt is “a letter you never intend to send.”

And I am not “sending” this letter.  It’s an exercise.  A writing exercise.  And that is all.  Just saying.


Dear The Boy,

Don’t you think it’s about time you got up and left the pity party?

I’m not saying that to be critical – not at all!  After all, I do have a bit of experience with unsolicited criticism, and I know how. . . unwelcome it can be.   (And with the pity pot, too, to be honest.)

No, what I’m saying is that maybe you might – possibly – be ready to take a step back and consider where you’re headed in life.

Sure, you’re young.    But you’re also an adult.

Every bad thing that happens to you doesn’t just “happen.”  It isn’t – can’t possibly be – the direct effect of someone else’s actions.

Sure, you’ve had some lousy breaks.  But you know, so have I.  So has everyone.

And you’ve also made some lousy decisions.  And so have I, and so has everyone.

Sometimes, dear heart, you’re your own worst enemy.

Actually, oftentimes, you’re your own worst enemy.

There is a point in life where we must all take responsibility for our own choices.  I’m not talking about “fault” or “blame” – I’m talking about being a grownup and moving forward with our lives.

The question is: what are you going to do?  What do you want from your life?  Where do you want to be a year from now?  Five years?  Ten years?

Do you want to be scrambling around for a job, bust your tail for a while, then start all over?  Wasting time and energy thinking about people and things over which you have no control?

Take some time, and get to know – get an idea anyway – what it is you want in life.  What you want to do, who you want to be, where you want to go.  Get an idea and a plan, set some goals, and follow through.  You’ve trained as a welder – is that what you want to do?  Is there something else you want to do?

You are an intelligent, talented young man – and you are the one in control of you.  You can still do and be (pretty much) whatever you want.

And don’t let anyone else tell you who you should be, what you should do.  The more, um, “experienced” adults in your life –  parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, pastors, mentors – they are all wise in their own ways.  And they (we!) all have advice that’s worth listening to, to be sure.

But you are the one who holds the reins.  It is your life, and you have to live it.  And you won’t be happy living a life someone else tries to map out for you.  You will never satisfy everyone, and in the act of trying, you’ll make yourself very unhappy.

Relax and be The Boy, and make the changes you need in order to live the life you want.

PS:  I love you regardless.



1. mazco34 - January 19, 2011

Thank you for posting one of the misunderstood songs of all time. It’s great to see the twins and little brother performing so well together. Cathy and I have this DVD and watch it pretty often.

Aren’t they great together?

2. judy - January 19, 2011

I am hearing and understanding very well. 🙂


3. Kristine - January 22, 2011

I thought this was really sweet 🙂

I wish I’d learned to be responsible for my own actions before I was, oh…THIRTY.+

Yeah, but it just seems that the more I say, the less is heard. 🙄

4. Nicole (Ninja Mom) - January 22, 2011

I should borrow this for my kids when they grow up and get ready to tackle adulthood. Way better than “Oh, The Places You’ll Go.”

You’re welcome to it! Let me know if you have better luck than I have so far. . .

5. Russ - January 22, 2011

A message (un)delivered with unconditional love. Excellent.

Exactly – thank you.

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