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They Have Finally Lost It August 24, 2011

Posted by Stupor Kitty in Big Lug, random stuff.
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What, I ask you, is a kitty to do about this?

I mean REALLY.

My people finally got rid of the Boy and it was great.

All kitty, all the time.

Then they went and brought in Old Mr. Barky Face there – the slobber-monster.

I hated thatIt stunk.  And I let them know, too.

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But you know, after a couple of years, the Big Lug kind of starts to grow on one, doesn’t he?  I mean, sure, he’s not at all kitty-ish, but still.  He does have a certain, shall we say, charm.

He respects Treat Time, allowing me a few skimpy minutes of  Mother’s attention, and he doesn’t bother my Greenies or interrupt our Tender Moments.   And like I always say – don’t start nothin’ won’t be nothin’.

I guess it could be worse.

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And then it happened.

I can’t even think about it without shuddering.

They brought another one home.  An even bigger one.  One who . . . frolics.  And squeaks.  And (ugh) slobbers even more than the first one.

What, do they like that stuff or something?

Oh sure, they tried to dress it up and say “oh, look, kitty, a new sister for you” but I know better.  That giant, 115-pound beast is no sister of mine.  Do I look like I’d fall for that?

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And the stomping and the running and the squeaking and the slobbering and oh! the noise!

How, I ask you, is a kitty supposed to get any beauty rest?

Plus, now there are TWO big black snouts sticking themselves through my kitty door at random times.

And did I mention the slobbering?  The kitchen floor is like a swamp!  Eeew.

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I mean, seriously, there are (ack) dogs! everywhere!

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Not to mention the stair landing.  I’d gotten used to HIM hogging it for the better part of the day.  I had my workarounds – I’ve learned how to get upstairs unmolested pretty much whenever the mood strikes, and that big old goofy head is none the wiser.

He thinks he’s such a great guard dog.  Feh.

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But now – NOW they’re taking it in shifts!

When he’s not blocking my access to the upper regions of the house, THE NEW BEAST IS!

What did I ever do to deserve such abuse?  Do I bring strange kitties home to mess up their home?

Do I leave my kitty toys around for everyone to trip on?  (Well, not much, anyway.)

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And oh, good heavens, do they make a major production out of every meal – snorking and snuffling and woofing and slobbering and, oh, it’s just disgusting!

And great, it’s in stereo now.

And please, just spare yourself from thinking about the after-breakfast drink of water.  It’s truly horrifying.  And wet.  Really wet.   Slurpy.

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But what might possibly be worst of all?  She sits by the window, watching for my father.

You can just stop that right now, missy.  He’s MY papa.  And I will swat you in the snout if you mess with me.  Just ask your partner how he liked that.

Huh.

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Comments

1. judy - August 24, 2011

The odds do not seem to be in your favor Kitty. How could “they” treat you so poorly. I guess it is SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP time. Sending you pats and tummy scratches across the miles. (they are cute though)

Judy, I’m pretty sure she’s going to milk this for a while, then get over it. And on the plus side, Gretchen seems to be a little more laid-back about cats and other little furry things than Jar is, so hopefully it will go better this time. 😕

2. The Innkeeper's Daughter - August 24, 2011

Kitty! You need to work them better for your own kind of companion!

Her kind of companion is edible. . . she’s not really a social kind of kitty, sadly. 🙄

3. anne - August 24, 2011

Well, SK, at least you haven’t lost your sense of humor. Aack. You, too, can learn to like slobber. You might as well start, since it would seem you’re outnumbered about 4:1.

Gotta admit, the lunkheads are pretty cute.

Now, Anne, are you numbering us humans in with the slobbermeisters?

anne - August 25, 2011

Well, yeah, guess. I was numbering the humans into the total number of souls who actually want the slobbermeisters to be there. Could be 5:1, if The Boy is still there.

😀 Yes, he’s here too. We’ve got what you might call a HOUSEFUL!

You’d think, then, she’d work on straightening up her act, wouldn’t you? Maybe try a little harder to get along? 🙄

4. sjbraun - August 25, 2011

Awww! Another doggie! Although I was confused at first, because #2 looks a lot like #1! I bet they will love each other … and kitty, too, hopefully …

They kind of do, don’t they? That was honestly one of the first things that drew me to her picture – but once we got the two together, the differences are striking – Jar definitely looks more shepherd-ish, and Gretch (that’s her name – Gretchen) is definitely a Great Dane. 😯

And yes, we may be a little certifiable.


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