Thing #32 – She’s Killing Me! June 27, 2012Posted by Jarlaxle The Wonder Dog in 101 Things, Big Lug, random stuff.
I am Jarlaxle, and I am excellent.
You know, Mama and me, me and Mama, between the two of us, we’re what you might call messed up. I mean really.
We’ve got my hip problems and Mama, well, she’s just got issues. Between the foot thing and asthma (who told her to smoke for all those years, anyway?), well, we’re not big fans of what she calls Exercise.
Until she decided that OBVIOUSLY she’s not going to be doing this running ALONE – I mean, when would she do it? After our morning walks? When she got home from work?
Um. . . just how did I get involved in this undertaking, anyway?
But I am her faithful canine companion, so I agreed to go along with it. After all, those 10 pounds I put on last winter aren’t going to lose themselves, are they? Besides, it makes Mama so happy!
I got a clean bill of health when I visited my vet, and she printed out TWO PAGES of directions and stuck them to the front door. I’m not sure what good they’re going to do there – I think, mostly, it’s so she doesn’t forget on our morning walks. Mama’s a little scattery like that sometimes.
And so we started.
WEEK 1. We started out alternating 30 seconds of “gentle jogging” with 90 seconds of walking. (Hey, you try jogging for 30 seconds with weak hips!) It wasn’t until the third (last) day, Friday, that Mama noticed that it wasn’t supposed to be 30 seconds, it was supposed to be 60 seconds of jogging. Oops. But she did say we’d start slow.
WEEK 1 Again. This time we’re doing 60 seconds of jogging, alternated with 90 seconds (ish) of walking. But I’m not doing it 8 times, I’m gonna tell you that RIGHT NOW.
WEEK 2. Alternating 90 seconds of jogging with 2 minutes of walking. I don’t feel so good.
WEEK 1 Again. We took most of a week off, so we’re going back to 60 seconds of jogging. So I guess this is going to be a thing now.
WEEK 2. Again. How’s a guy supposed to stop and smell the flowers (and the trees) (and the signs) (and everything else) (and pee on them) when we’re RUNNING everywhere, anyway?
WEEK 3. Mama’s knees have been hurting. She had an appointment with her vet Tuesday, so she wanted to wait until she talked to her vet to continue running. I don’t know about her, but I am really hating this. I’m not built for running – I am built for lying around!
Mama’s vet said she shouldn’t run – that she should walk instead. (Like we haven’t already been walking for miles and miles every day!) Whew! I’m glad we don’t have to do that anymore – walking is much more civilized!
Mama thinks that maybe she might try the running thing again, but not until it stops hurting. Until then, though, we’re crossing it off the list, because it totally counts, and we’re just going to hope she forgets all about it.
Or if she doesn’t forget about it, I just hope she leaves me out of it, that’s all.
After all, I’m a Delicate Excellent Puppy-Baby, you know.