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Monday Musings: 04.28.2014 Edition April 28, 2014

Posted by Jarlaxle The Wonder Dog in Big Lug, meal plan monday, Musings, random stuff.
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I am Jarlaxle and I am excellent.

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I am so excellent that Mummy and Papa decided to celebrate what they called Gotcha Day by getting me a present!

No, they didn’t exactly say it was a present for me, but it was wrapped up, and they let me help open it, so that must mean it’s for me, right?
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I just knew, in that big giant box, it HAD to be the biggest bone EVER, didn’t it?

Or maybe one of those bully stick things they won’t let me sample when we go to the pet store.  Those things are HUGE!

Oh boy!

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Um, guys?

It wasn’t a bone.  Or even any kind of treat.

It wasn’t even anything to eat at all.

I’m not even sure it was for ME!

I mean . . . look at that thing.  It weighs a TON!  How’m I ever going to carry that around?

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It’s even got labels that say “STOP” and “DANGER!” and “WARNING” all over it.

And I’m pretty sure it’s not a good idea for a smart pup like me to chew on something with THAT MANY warning labels.  I suppose we could let a chihuahua try it and see what happens, if  you know what I mean!

Seriously – I’ll bet a Yorkshire terrier would fit right down in there. . . hey, there are those little beasties we see on our morning walks sometimes – the ones that try to chase me down the street – ME! – and don’t come when their papa calls them.  Hmmm, I wonder. . .

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So whatever this new toy is, it’s not something for me, I guess.  I don’t know why they let me open it, unless it was just tease me and get me all excited.

But then – wait a minute!

Papa brought out a WHOLE BUCKET full of chicken parts – the good kind, too – with the bones in them!

I know that stuff is for me, since Mummy doesn’t like what she calls “dark meat” very much, and the dark meat with the bones is just the kind of chicken I love.  It makes the most delightful crunchy noises!  I drag it into the living room, JUST LIKE THE BEAST THAT I AM and I crunch and gnaw and crunch some more!

(The only problem, though, is that when I get to have chicken, I get A SINGLE HUNK and that’s it.  It’s hard to mix my supplements into A HUNK of chicken and I end up having to eat them straight.  Blech.)

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Papa went ahead and turned on the new toy, and it was so quiet – even I, with my super-superior hearing skills, could barely hear it running.

And then – THEN – he crammed my lovely, lovely chicken in the Yorkie-hole!

And the . . . wait a minute here.

Almost before I could blink, ground-up meat came pouring out!  It’s like, well, it’s like a MEAT FOUNTAIN!

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Meat and skin and bones and, oh YUM!

I have the best parents in the world!  First, they took me off of doom nuggets and started feeding me live meat.  Well, not live meat, obviously, but real meat, anyway.

Though you’ve got to admit, it’d be pretty cool if they’d let me chase down my own squirrel or a rabbit, wouldn’t it?

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But I get super-special treats like raw liver and green tripe, too.  Dudes, I didn’t even know about green tripe before Mummy and Papa brought me home!

Not to mention big, juicy bones, too, on the weekend.  And you know, if I’m “obnoxious” enough (Mummy’s word), sometimes I get a bone on Saturday and another on Sunday!

So Papa packed the ground chicken in 5-pound tubs and stuck it in the freezer, so now they can mix and match what I’m getting for meals – a little organ meat, a little ground beef, and a little ground chicken-and-bones.

Life is good.

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And then Mummy said that she was SO pleased with how well I’m doing on this new diet (no more barfing, no more nasty stinky poos – yeah, I’m pretty happy too!) she’s so happy about it that she’s going to try to switch my sister  over to the same diet, only not homemade, at least not yet.    Which I guess will be okay, but somehow I don’t think she’s bright enough to know a good thing when she sees it!

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And once again, it’s time for the weekly menu plan.  Since I’m taking over today, Mummy says I’ve got to tell you what the plate are that I’ll be licking this week, so here goes!

Monday –  They say it’s going to be nice enough to grill, which means I’ll be hanging out in the yard while Papa cooks some nice lamb chops.  Of course, I won’t get the bones because they’ll be cooked, but I’ll get to lick the plates.  Plus, Mummy will probably save me a little taste.  She’s nice like that.  They’ll also grill some potatoes at the same time and probably have salad.  It’s not ground chicken, but I guess it’ll do.

Tuesday – And it’s gonna be raining again, I guess. No deck time for me.  Mummy likes to do something “meatless” every week (can you IMAGINE?) and this week it’s lentil risotto.  I guess it’s not bad.  You know, if you’re human.

Wednesday – Can you BELIEVE this?  They’re going to leave me alone for an evening!  And why?  So they can go to some Food Truck Rodeo – which means I’ll get fed early, they’ll dash out, then come home LATE for my evening walk!  The neglect I put up with.

Thursday – Well, at least, if they had to abandon me one night, they’re making up for the next with their beef, beer and onion stew.  Even though they make sure I don’t get any onions, and, obviously, the beer is cooked out, it’s still a bowl I’m happy to lick!

Friday – We puppsters to love our routine – and that means Friday is Kong and pizza night – I stretch out on the living room floor with my Kong, and they have pizza.  Then, the next morning, I get the pizza crusts!

Be sure to click on over to The Organizing Junkie’s Monday Menu Plan post for loads and loads of other ideas.

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Comments

1. Anne - April 28, 2014

A meat fountain with a Yorkie hole. Ahahahahahaha .. *gasp*.. ahahahahahaha!!!

Toy Lady - April 29, 2014

Yeah, I liked the bit about the meat fountain, too. 😆

2. judy Norton - May 4, 2014

This one got by me until today! Jar really has it good and he knows it. Will be curious how Kitty does with a different diet too. I hope you have had some spring by now. “See” you tomorrow.

Toy Lady - May 4, 2014

Hey, Judy!

You know, it’s been SUCH a positive change for Jar, but I don’t know – I don’t think it’s going to be as easy to switch the kitty’s diet – she WILL NOT eat the special Kitten Mix we got for her. I suspect she takes issue with the beef liver in there – I think I’m going to have to create her own special food, adding one thing at a time. So far, she’s LOVING chicken, though, so that’s good. 🙂


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